The year that passed was a great one for me. A lot of wonderful unexpected things happened, especially in relation to my work. I will forever be grateful to Bro for the opportunities He opened up to me in 2009. I know that He still has a lot of wonderful plans for me this year.
My main aim for 2010 is to be healthier. In 2009, I started joining aerobics classes while working the treadmill at home. For 2010, I will go back to doing yoga and will add more cardio exercises into my workout regimen. I've also started doing a little weights.
Being healthy also means watching what you eat. And this is what I will do this year. It's going to be difficult, I know; but I managed to do it some two years ago and I know I can do it again.
Among other things, I will also read more. I read a lot in 2009, but it was nothing compared to my usual reading load. A little portion of my salary will be allotted for books.
Also, I will get back to creative writing. I used to write a lot of poetry and short stories. For 2010, my aim is to come up with a personal compilation of my creative writings. I've been wanting to do this for years and I believe that the right time has come. In relation to this, I will also work on my mom's short stories and compile them.
There are still tons that I plan to achieve this year. I don't really have to enumerate them all here. I know them by heart, and I know that for the duration of 2010, they will be a part of me.
The most important thing for me now is to cultivate a positive attitude about everything in life. If I believe that I am already where my goals are, I will achieve everything that I have set out to do.
So, for 2010, my most important objective is to be positive and believe. If I am able to constantly do this, then I have already made my year complete even when it has just started.
Again, happy new year, everyone! Start making your dreams come true now!
It's finally Christmas. To my family and friends...Merry Christmas! I hope we will all remember the real reason for all these fancy celebration: Jesus, or Bro (according to Santino). In the middle of all the gift giving, the sumptuous feasts, the fireworks, let us all remember to thank Him for allowing us to enjoy the life that we have, with all the people we love and care for.
Cagayan de Oro lost an inspiration when my uncle, Ralph Cecilio, died a few days ago. His battle with lung cancer has finally ended.
Tito Laplap, as we fondly called him, was a big man with a giant heart. He treated everyone in a special, unique way. He was also a teacher in every sense of the word - one who teaches you things beyond the four walls of a classroom. He was always ready to inspire you to learn. And this is how he became one of my inspirations back when I was still struggling to find my way as a teacher.
Nope, I was never in his classes. But he taught me a lot. He taught me the value of education. He taught me how to show my students what learning was all about. He taught me how to help my students love learning, especially when it came to all things related to Literature. He taught me that it was possible to make my students love reading and writing...and learning. All these he did without him saying a single word to me; without him teaching me what I needed to do. He only had to give me suggestions like "Let them watch this and that on channel this and that." Simple tips, but they meant a lot to me. And I learned a lot from these.
I stopped teaching in 2006. He never grew tired of it, not even when he was diagnosed with his cancer. Such courage! Such dedication! I wish I had known him much longer...I wish I had spent more time with him; more than the chit-chats we used to have every time we met each other after Sunday Mass in KetKai. But then, all that cannot be now. He has gone on to join our Master. The one who gave him his incredible gifts.
At least, I was a part of his life. At least, I was touched by his presence. Now all that I need to do is preserve every single learning that I got from him - from merely listening to him every time we talked, and from merely observing him when he was in deep conversation with someone else. I'll treasure every single one of those memories...forever. Someday, when I get the chance to go back to teaching, I know I'll be able to make use of the inspiration that he was, and still is, to me.
Now that he is gone, Cagayan de Oro has lost a shining example of an inspiration for the youth. There will not be anybody like him for years to come. He'll remain the only one.
After several months of keeping my blog "stagnant," I'm back! I won't deny it, I have the same excuse that most people have - I've been really busy. Yup, true! I've been too busy the past months that every time I open this little blog of mine, I'd end up falling asleep! Anyway, I'm determined to keep the ball rolling from now on. I so miss writing!
So, what have I been up the past months? Hmmmm...a lot, actually. But one of the most interesting things that I've been religiously doing is watching a lot (more than a lot, actually!) of t.v. shows and movies. I've become so addicted to downloading our favorite t.v. shows that watching them has become a part of my daily routine. Anyway, here are the shows that keep me on my toes every day:
1.Criminal Minds - I have always been a fan of this show. I love the characters and the way they work together. I love watching the BAU (Behavioral Analysis Unit) profile serial killers and murderers. I love analyzing the complex characters and situations. And I love Dr. Spencer Reid! The latest season has some twists, like Morgan taking over Hotch as head of the team - but things are just as great!
2.House - I'm a Dr. House fan! Always have been and always will be! I simply love this man! There's a lot of drama in the latest season, especially since House just completed rehabilitation/therapy for his addiction to his meds. The departure of Cameron and her separation from Chase has also left a lot of new doors open, like the return of 13 and Taub to the team. I still miss Kutner, though.
3.Ghost Whisperer - I love Melinda Gordon! I love the way she is able to help people - both living and dead. There's something beautiful in every story, in every character that is introduced into the show. This new season is a "testing" one for Melinda and her husband Jim, since they already have a son, Aidan, who, at a young age, is already showing signs that he can be more powerful than his mom.
4.Supernatural - The Winchester brothers just keeps them coming! This season is filled with a lot of angry foes and realizations for both Dean and Sam. They still have an angel guarding them, though (Castiel). It's always great to see the good overpower the evil in every episode. I guess that's one of the reasons why this show is on my list: the fact that the good always triumphs over the bad somehow gives me hope. Of course, I also want to know how things will eventually turn out for the brothers - one of whom is a vessel of God and his angels, while the other is the devil's vessel.
5.Glee - Oh, I am so loving Glee! It's just fun and entertaining! It never fails to brighten my day! I love the music and the songs, and the characters are just so close to home that I can't help but feel with them. The fact that the "Glee Club" is a major factor in the show is just awesome! I just can't help but recall grade school years...
6.How I Met Your Mother - One of the biggest reasons I love this show? Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris in real life). He simply knows how to deliver the funniest, most absurd lines! HIYMYM never fails to make me laugh, no matter what mood I am in. The words "awesome," "legendary," and "suit up!" have become such a part of my life that I sometimes find myself using them!
7.Leverage - This is new in my list as the series is just on its second season. I love the way ex-con men and women are able to con the cheating and lying "big fishes" - those who won't think twice about using their power to overpower the weak and poor. The characters are fascinating and their "jobs" (or missions) involve situations that really happen in real life.
8.The Mentalist - This is also new in my list - and thanks to a friend, I've never stopped watching from the day I first "laid eyes" on Patrick Jane! Jane is like the "Dr. House" of the California Bureau of Investigation and he uses the "mind" to help his team solve crimes and close cases. He "reads" people and analyzes situations; and sometimes, he uses hypnotism. In short, he uses unconventional means in solving cases - but his teams ain't complaining! For me, Patrick Jane belongs to the same boat that Dr. Gregory House rocks! They are two of my most favorite television characters, ever!
9.Dexter - Dexter is a blood spatter specialist, one of the best. He helps solve cases. What I like about Dexter's story is its twist: at night, Dexter is a serial killer! Pretty mind blowing, right? I've seen just a couple of episodes of this show, but I'm already hooked to it!
10.True Blood - Sukie Stackhouse's story is simply interesting! And I simply love vampires!
There are several other shows that I follow , but my fascination for them hasn't reached the level of my top faves yet. Of course, I still watch my other faves - CSI (all three), Numbers, Medium, and Chuck. But for now, I'm glued to those in my top 10 list.
I grew up in the 80s. The fashion, the dances, the music...and Michael Jackson.
MJ was a big part of my teenage years. I danced to his music and memorized almost every song. I tried so hard to perfect the moonwalk but only got around to memorizing the dance steps to "Beat It" and "Billie Jean". Last year, I reminisced my high school years when my office mates and I danced to the immortal MJ classic "Thriller".
Now the King of Pop is gone. No more moonwalks and creative dance moves. No more energy-packed concerts. No more Michael Jackson.
MJ's life was like a rollercoaster, so full of ups and downs. He started singing at a very young age, and although he was just a kid, he wowed a lot of people with his "majestic" singing voice. He grew up and became even better at his craft, and we grew to love him. It's true, he made quite a number of bad decisions and was pushed into the limelight for the wrong reasons several times...But the magic of his voice and his dances never stopped. In fact, they became even better.
As he went through turbulent times, his songs reflected his feelings. Songs that were full of angst, songs that begged for understanding, songs that wanted to reach out...they were all his; they were all him.
No matter what else happened to MJ in his 50 years, one thing will remain true forever: that he was the greatest entertainer we've ever had in many years. Nobody, absolutely nobody, can ever replace him, or his music, or his dances.
There is only one MJ. He captured my heart back in the 80s; he continues to do so now, even when he has gone on to another life. Goodbye, MJ. Rest well. You deserve nothing less.
One of my favorite television shows is Jennifer Love Hewitt's Ghost Whisperer. I've seen all four seasons and cannot wait for the next one. As always, I don't really care what other people say about the show; what's important for me is that I enjoy it and I get a lot of good lessons from it.
Ghost Whisperer is about a young woman named Melinda Gordon (J.Love) who has the gift of seeing the dead (spirits). However, the show is not at all what you expect of supernatural stories. It's more heartwarming than scary, actually. You see, Melinda has a huge responsibility, and that responsibility involves using her gift. She sees spirits of dead people and helps them "finish the unfinished" so they can cross over and "go into the light".
Here is an excerpt taken from CBS.com, Ghost Whisperer's home studio. "Inspired in part by the work of famed medium James Van Praagh and of Mary Ann Winkowski, a real-life communicator with earth bound spirits, GHOST WHISPERER explores the spiritual side of life and death."
Melinda is married to Jim Gordon, a paramedic who knows about her gift. Jim is very supportive of her and even accompanies her sometimes when she does her investigations. She and Jim have an unconditional love that goes beyond any boundaries. Theirs is the stuff that we all dream of having.
Melinda's mom (Anne Archer) is also gifted but is not as open with the whole idea as her daughter is. The two of them just recently "restored" their relationship.
The Ghost Whisperer is surrounded by loving friends who never fail to help her. She has Delia (her best friend who helps run her quaint antique shop), Ned (Delia's son), and her "sidekick" Eli (Jamie Kennedy), who has the unusual gift of "hearing" (but not seeing) ghosts. In the previous seasons, Melinda's "sidekick" was Jay Mohr's Professor Payne. Also, in the earlier seasons, Melinda had another best friend who was killed when a plane crashed in Grandview (their fictional town). Melinda helped her go into the light.
All these characters have their own stories to tell; and all their stories somehow connect with what Melinda does.
What's really good about this show is that it makes you feel good after watching it. No matter how many tears you shed, you will always get that wonderful, happy feeling after watching one full episode. I've cried many tears watching families saying goodbye to loved ones about to cross into the light; or couples declaring their undying love; and parents reconnecting with children who left them early in life.
A lot of changes have been happening in the show (like Melinda and Jim finally having a baby), and I'm extra excited to find out just how powerful their little one will be.
Sometimes, I envy Melinda because she helps a lot of people without really asking for anything in return. But most of the time, I get scared thinking about what I'd really do if I were in her shoes. My greatest wish, though impossible, is to meet Melinda and spend a day with her. I'm sure I'll learn a lot from her. For we all know that even those who have gone on ahead of us have tons of new knowledge to share with us.
The show also reiterates something that I learned a long time ago, back when I was yet an innocent high school senior: "even in death, love speaks".
I hope Ghost Whisperer goes on air forever. But then again, like what the show is unconsciously trying to tell us, forever is in another realm. Maybe I'll just content myself with the idea that there may really be a Melinda Gordon somewhere in the world. And that I might get to meet her someday. Maybe in this lifetime, or in the next.
No, this is not about that Eric Clapton song. But it is about something that the song talks about: DEATH.
The past months have been quite sad. Many people who have been a part of my life, in one way or another, passed away. Death is something that makes me think really hard. It is something that makes me reflect on the kind of life that I lead. And even if I know that death will bring you back to the Lord, I'm still afraid of it. Yes, I am afraid of death.
My fear is not so much because of the idea of death itself. It is more the fear of losing your connection with the world; with the people you love and who love you; with the people around you. It is the fear of leaving behind the people who matter most to you. It is also the fear of not being able to do enough to leave your legacy in this world.
I thought everything would stop when my mom died in February 2006, but it did not. I made several decisions that altered the course of my life, but that was that. Eventually, things became better and I was able to adjust. Then after a year, our family was dealt another blow. My aunt, Daddy's youngest sister, passed away in May 2007. It was difficult for us because it was unexpected. And she was so young.
Like what happened after Mommy passed away, I slowly adjusted. At the back of my mind, however, questions kept popping up. And my fears escalated. Death made me feel that way sometimes.
Last year, my cousin Francis Ortigas died of heart failure at a very young age. He wasn't even 40 yet! His demise made me realize that death is really like a thief. It can come to you at the prime of your life, or when you're just about to conquer the world.
Still, I am never ready when I hear that someone has passed away. It is never all right to hear that somebody I know, that someone who is a part of my life has moved on to another world. I will never be prepared for death. No one is and no one will ever be.
I know my journey in life is still quite long. I have yet many things to do and a lot of promises to fulfill. I have yet many people to help. But every time someone I know passes away, I cannot help but be afraid...for myself, for the departed's family, for everyone I know.
The only thing that I can do is pray. It's the best weapon against fear. And you know what? It never fails to work!
I am sad. I am sad because another one of the special people in my life has gone on to another world. After Lolo (Grandpa) Titang in 1986, it was MammaIn. Mama Chata in 2003. Then Mommy followed in 2006. Tita (Aunt) Diditte in 2007. Francis in 2008. This year, Lolo Nonon (Fr. Miguel Bernad) passed away. And now, Lola Dory Chaves. My only consolation, I guess, is that they lived a happy and fulfilled life. No, their lives were not perfect. There's no such thing as a perfect life. But they lived their mission and realized their visions in one way or another.
I am sad because they are not with me anymore. I cannot embrace or even touch them anymore. But I am always consoled every time I think about them...Because I know they're all looking down lovingly on us. Because I know that even in death, their love speaks a thousand words.
I will never be comfortable with the idea of death. But I know that I will always have prayers, and my faith in the Lord, to keep me steady and strong. I will have all our "angels" up there rooting for me.
So, I know that in a few days or months' time, all will be well with me.
(This article was actually written for Goldstar. I do not know when it came out or if it ever did. I was not able to find it in the copies I bought for the week it was supposed to. Anyway, it's one of the most heartfelt pieces I wrote so I decided to share this with you.)
Master Rapper, King of Pinoy Rap, The Man From Manila, Kiko, and FrancisM. Francis Magalona was known by many names. However, to fans and peers all over the country, he will forever be the man who changed Filipino music by integrating nationalism into a popular genre called rap.
Francis, the son of Pancho Magalona and Tita Duran, popular stars of the 1940s-50s, was only 44 years old when he succumbed to acute myelogenous leukemia last Friday, March 06. I was busy editing articles in the office when I read about it. I was shocked and surprised. I did not want to believe that it was true. The truth began to sink in after I read a full account of what happened from one of the news websites I regularly visited.
I first saw Francis in the movie Bagets. But it was when I was in college in Manila and his music ruled the airwaves that I really took notice of him. Mga Kababayan was a phenomenal hit; and so were his other earlier songs like Tayo’y Mga Pinoy, Man from Manila, Mga Praning, and Cold Summer Nights. Through the years, the Master Rapper turned in one hit after another. One of his most popular hits, Kaleidoscope World, became a favorite of many (including me). Eventually, he ventured into collaborations with groups like Parokya Ni Edgar and the Eraserheads. No matter what he did, the response was phenomenal. Perhaps it was because Francis was always full of passion when he performed. He was a true artist who cared about his craft.
Nationalism was a big issue for Francis. I admired the fact that he did not find the need to march into the streets just to express his patriotism for our country. He simply poured his all in the songs he weaved. Even his paintings and photos, his other passions, spoke of his love for his country…his love for life.
Francis’ zest for life was evident in his battle with leukemia. His was a different, more serious kind. But he never gave his illness the chance to get the better of him. Instead, he shared his battle with his fans, with the people who believed in him the most. Through his multiply site, Francis posted blogs about his treatment as regularly as he could. He posted pictures, too, that showed the same fun-loving, happy Francis. Despite his pain, he kept going. He was even scheduled to perform with the Eraserheads in their concert last March 07. Ely Buendia and his crew dedicated the entire concert to his honor and sang Superproxy (a song the Master Rapper wrote for them) and Kaleidoscope World.
It’s true. Francis’ death was surprising. Tragic even, because he was so young, so talented, and so intelligent. But maybe we can all learn a lesson or two from him. One is to always love life, no matter what it has to offer us. The other is to never give up no matter what the circumstances are.
And of course, we shall all keep listening to his songs. We shall all continue to ponder on every word, every lyric that he has left for us through his music. Somewhere in between those words is a part of Francis reminding us that life must go on, whether he makes music here with us or up there with the Greatest Musician of our lives.
So long, Francis M. You shall be missed. But your music, your legacy shall live forever.
March means a lot of things to many people. For students, March signals the beginning of the end of classes. For office workers, March means summer is almost here. For others, especially those who have gone through painful and abusive experiences, March is for women.
The story of women's month began many years ago in New York City. It was March 1911 when over 140 girls, majority of whom were Jewish and Italian immigrants, were trapped inside the factory of Triangle Shirtwaist while the building was on fire.
As a result of the tragedy, women in the early 20th century began organizing themselves and came up with various activities for women. One of the resulting activities was the observance of International Women's Day every 8th day of March in commemoration of the tragic death of the factory workers.
In the Philippines, Women's Month began when former President Corazon Aquino signed several proclamations pertaining to March as a special month for women. Proclamation No. 224 officially recognized the first week of March every year as Women's Week. March 08 became known as Women's Rights and International Peace Day. Proclamation No. 227 officially began the observance of March as Women's Role in History Month. Finally, President Aquino also signed R.A. 6949 and declared March 08 of every year as National Women's Day.
Today, various organizations around the country and the world have actively participated in annual celebrations and observances of Women's Month. Popular playwright Eve Ensler came up with her own way of highlighting the importance of women when she put together the hugely celebrated Vagina Monologues. VM is a collection of women's painful, funny, heartbreaking, and joyful experiences told in interesting anecdotes and monologues. It is one of the most well attended events during Women's Month celebrations all over the world. Celebrities, personalities, students, and many young women from different backgrounds have joined and performed the monologues for free. Every VM show is a benefit performance for various women's groups/organizations.
The Vagina Monologues is actually part of Ensler's bigger Women's Month advocacy, the V-Day Movement. V-Day is a worldwide campaign aimed at ending violence and abuse against women and girls. Various activities like concerts, mardi gras, reading tours, and interschool contests take place throughout the V-Day celebration. Here in Cagayan de Oro, V-Day has been observed for years now and many women (and men) have been continuously campaigning its advocacy through a number of activities like school campaigns, monologue readings, workshops and seminars, and essay writing contests.
The plight of abused women and girls around the world cannot be fixed with just a sweep of a magic wand. It takes years, a lot of patience, and unfailing dedication and passion. For those who refuse to give in to the pain and the hurt, March is always the best time to speak up and be heard. But if we want to truly put an end to all the terrible beatings, we have the whole year and the rest of our lives to stand up for them. In our own humble ways, we can help. When all our little efforts are put together, we can do more and help the many women and girls silently suffering.
February has come and gone, I know. But it doesn't mean I cannot talk about love anymore. Love is something that you talk about everyday, wherever you are.
Several years ago, when I was still studying in Manila, there was a radio show called "Love Notes". It was aired over DWTM and hosted by Joe D'Mango. It was so successful that it eventually created a spin-off on television. Anyways, I didn't really tune in to the radio show but was able to watch some episodes of the T.V. show. The concept was formulaic - Joe D'Mango read love notes, or stories, sent in by viewers/listeners and the story would be featured on the show. The stories were nothing extraordinary but they were able to successfully paint different pictures of love. There were times when, while watching the show, I'd remark to myself how amazing love really is for people were willing to do anything and everything just to make love work in their lives.
Last February 16, I was witness once again to another attempt at painting a perfect picture of love.
My aunt, Maribel Veloso, was invited by some Xavier University-Ateneo de Cagayan students to give a talk about the different ways of saying "I Love You". Of course, the audience was made up of college students. And they all had their own perceptions of love. It was an honest and lively discussion that opened my eyes to how today's young people look at love; how they expressed their love to others.
The first part of the talk dwelt mostly on people's different views of love. It varies a lot, you'll be surprised. For me, love is mysterious; it is something that brings out the best or the unexpected in each one of us. It makes us do things we never did before. For others, love meant greater things like companionship, compatibility, togetherness. Love meant a lot of things for different people. So it's really difficult to pinpoint a specific definition of love. There is one thing I am sure of, though...love is infinite. It never ends.
Then the discussion moved on to what one can do to keep love in full swing. What my aunt told them was really basic knowledge. So basic that we sometimes forget about them. Things like letting the person know he is special by touching or hugging. Spending quality time together, listening and communicating, and even giving space to each other when needed. I know of a couple who takes turns going on trips or vacations (within or out of the country) regularly so they can have quality time on their own. You see, like what my aunt said, I believe that being a couple does not mean losing yourself and becoming one with your partner. For your relationship and your love to keep growing, each of you has to stay in tune with your individual selves. You should not lose your self or your identity just because you are the other half of someone else.
The question and answer portion was the most interesting part of the talk. Believe me, those students can make you think! Some of the situations they were involved in were common but there were those that were really unusual. A love triangle. Unreciprocated or unrequited love. Same sex relationships. Women wanting to make the first move. It was fun listening to their stories and I marveled at how honest they were about their feelings! It led me to thinking whether I was as brave and upfront about my feelings when I was their age.
Like Joe D'Mango's "Love Notes", the talk opened my eyes to more wonderful things about love...the best realization of which is that it brings people of different backgrounds, beliefs, and preferences together. It is truly universal.
No matter how many shows like "Love Notes", or how many "love talks", I attend, I know I won't be able to truly find the perfect and complete meaning of love. All I am sure of right now is that love is a wonderful kind of "wonder"...and it is a feeling I'd like to cherish for the rest of my life.
In February last year, I was busy and happily involved in a worthy cause. Together with my former students, we joined the 2008 V-Day Campaign, an annual campaign meant to raise awareness about the plight of countless abused women and children all over the world. The campaign is the brainchild of Eve Ensler,writer of the hugely popular The Vagina Monologues. Through Ensler's staging of the monologues, the V-Day campaign was able to raise more than $50 million for numerous women's anti-violence groups. Today, the campaign is a worldwide event that gathers some of the world's most prominent personalities in various V-Day related activities.
Our main aim last year was to be able to stage The Vagina Monologues and entice as many of our friends as possible to join in the campaign by watching and supporting the show. For those of us who took an active part in the monologues, however, it was more than just an invitation; more than just a campaign.
The Vagina Monologues was an experience of awakening for myself and for all the other vagina warriors who generously shared their time and talents to the show. When we first gathered together to listen to all the pieces, we were completely moved by the stories we heard. And then we began reading the stories ourselves. We began to lend out voices to all the women whose stories have remained voiceless for years. We began to become the women in the stories we read. In the process, we got to know ourselves better. We realized how lucky we were to be where we were, to be who we were.
Our biggest realization, however, was finding out our worth as women. Because of the monologues; because of the brave women who shared their stories with the world, we realized how special we were. We realized how unique we were - no matter who we were and no matter what other people say. Because of The Vagina Monologues, we were able to come to terms with our womanhood. Because of The Vagina Monologues, we can now honestly declare and say how proud we are to be women.
This year, another V-Day celebration will enfold. And The Vagina Monologues will once again be on the spotlight. Although I may not be able to join the production anymore, I know I'll find a way to somehow reach out and help. I know I'll continue to be a vagina warrior. And if I were given the chance, I'd ask all my friends, male or female, to stand up and support this worthwhile endeavor.
I believe that all women, at one point in their life, should give herself the wonderful opportunity of getting into The Vagina Monologues experience. It can make all the difference...
Angelina Jolie's performance as Christine Collins in Clint Eastwoods' "Changeling" is a clear departure from her usual glossy characters (i.e. Tomb Raider, Wanted). It is an indication that she has evolved into a deeper person, probably because of her fully developed "motherly instinct".
This period thriller tells of the heartbreaking story of a woman who lost her son. When the LAPD supposedly returns her son to her, she realizes that the boy was an impostor. An underlying story here shows the truth behind all the dirt navigating through the doors and offices of the LAPD at that time.
To prove that the son returned to her was not hers, Christine Collins did everything that a mother could. At one point, she was even sent by the police to the state's psychopathic ward after they deemed her mentally unfit.
I was quiet all throughout the movie. Inside, though, it was an altogether different story. My heart was slowly being torn to pieces with every scene; with every word that came out of Christine's mouth. No, I don't have children yet but I love them. My nephews and nieces are real treasures to me. I couldn't imagine how a person (like Capt. J.J. Jones) could be so cold-hearted and cruel. Didn't they know how a mother and her child can be emotionally connected even when they were worlds apart?
I admit that I cried while watching the movie. I believe that anybody who has a heart will also do the same.
There are no spectacular fireworks in the movie, no hysterical confrontations and the like. But it was truly, deeply heartwrenching. I don't need any critic telling me about the movie's flaws because all I can remember is the story - and the brave, dedicated mother and woman that is Christine Collins.
Whether you're a mother or not, Changeling will change the way you will look at children. Changeling will teach you what self-sacrifice and unconditional love is all about.
“Good memories are like charms, Nicky. Each is special.”
“There are words from a poem about the local fishing boats and their crews that have been carved into the bar of the Dock’s Tavern in the Vineyard. “The longed-for ships/ come empty home or founder on the deep/ and eyes first loss their tears and then their sleep.”
These are just some of my favorite lines from James Patterson's touching novel "Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas". It's a book that's entirely different from all the other Pattersons I have in my collection. And although I knew that it was a love story of sorts (a little similar to his "Sam's Letters to Jennifer"), I was completely blown away by the story...especially towards the end!
Reading this book has given me a new perspective in life; one that's inspired by the five balls which Suzanne kept repeating to Nicholas in the diary. I find the theory of the glass balls and the lone rubber ball to be truly useful...especially since I'm at an exciting point in my life (my 40th year!).
I invite you to take some time to read this beautiful story and allow it to touch your heart; your inner being. I'm sure you'll understand what I'm talking about once you start flipping the pages.
Here's an essay which I wrote way back the late 1990s...in Manila...
“If I ignore the emotional plea and respond only to the words, I will not be communicating with you, there will not be a flow of understanding between us. I will not be feeling you and so, I will be frustrated and you will be also. The heart of any conversation is the demand being made on my emotion. If I feel frustrated, that is a good sign I am avoiding the emotions you are trying to communicate – I have not paused long enough to ask, ‘What do you really want from me?’ “
- Notes to Myself: My Struggle to Become A Person by Hugh Prather
When you talk to me, what do you really want from me? When you talk to me, do you talk only because you want me to listen to what you say? Or do you want me to feel what you mean? I don’t want to just listen to what you say. Rather, I want to also feel what you feel.
When I talk to a friend (or to anybody else, for that matter), I always try to go deep inside that person. Like, I ask myself, does he really need to talk to me? Or is he just blabbering? I believe that whatever emotional phase you are in (jolly, happy, sad, mad or in-between), talking to or being with someone always helps.
Comforting is an important aspect of friendship and love. Time and again, you will find a need to sit down and talk, or just be together. Your mere presence can always help. Even silence can help. But then, emotional comfort does not only mean talking to the person. Rather, it means letting yourself go a step beyond and understanding him; accepting that he is not at his best. It means you’re going through him and letting yourself into his shoes. Most of all, I think, it means not holding him to his words. Deep emotions, according to Prather, are often expressed in irrational words. If he tells you nonsense, let him. Emotions are free. They cannot be hidden, cannot be kept and can never be stopped. They flow. They jell. Sometimes, they make turbulent changes. It is during these times when we feel emotional stress, sometimes getting mad for no reason at all.
Like you, I need this kind of comfort, too. I don’t schedule it. It comes as an unwelcome surprise more often than not. We do not really know when these moments come. But when they do come, I call on to someone and try to tell him how I feel. Even if I do not make sense at all, he almost always accepts everything I say. And it has done me good. It has helped me grow and understand myself even more.
You is that you don’t have to hide how you feel. Someone will always be willing to listen to you. He will always be with you. Just his mere presence will help comfort you. Just as you will be there for him, he will be there for you. He may be a brother, a friend, or someone you love. It doesn’t really matter. Just call on him and let him know how you feel…and ask him to try hard to understand your emotions. Ask him to listen closely to what you’re saying and to how you are feeling.
When your turn to comfort comes, just be by his side. Remember to always tell him to feel free to say anything. Even what he doesn’t mean…
That’s when the need for emotional comfort is fulfilled.
This is one of my favorite short stories. Can't remember anymore when I wrote this. I think this was for Mr. & Ms. Magazine...
“Deep down, I was glad
it was cold, for while
I was keeping you warm,
I was secretly loving you.”
-COLD by Joe Pintauro
Marvie sat beside me in the bus, and I could feel sweat breaking out through my body. I could feel her heart beating so close to mine. Gradually, my pulse quickens. I move in my seat, extremely uncomfortable. I have never been this close to anybody before – man or woman. Slowly, Marvie leaned on my shoulder. She was too close to me now that I can hear her breathing.
I met Marvie, or rather, she saw me, in one of the benches around the park near our house. I had been walking and stretching my muscles, and I was with my dog. The moment she said “hi!”, I knew that something in me was forever changed.
That first meeting at the park was followed by another...and another...and another. And soon enough, we became close friends. We went out a lot – we went to bars and concerts, and even exercised together. Slowly, I felt myself falling for her. My heart would beat fast everytime she was near me. Whenever she held my hand, I’d be lost, as if I was flying over nowhere. But this is where it all stops...
You see, when I met Marvie, she was very much in love with this guy called Wayne. They have been together for two years. I met Wayne a couple of months ago, and he seemed nice. Marvie was happy with him. You’ll know it when you hear the sound of her laughter, and the excitement in her voice everytime she talked about him. They had plans – travel plans, wedding plans.
Last night, Marvie came to me and cried a bucket of tears. We stayed in my apartment the whole night. I listened to her cry, sigh and complain. It turned out that this nice guy, Wayne, had been living in with some other girl, and it had been going on for months! It was plain and simple cheating. Marvie saw them in his apartment. They explained and announced that they were “in love”. Marvie simply walked out. No violent reactions. No radio-drama hysterics. No wailing. She let him go.
Now, I am at the crossroad. I know not which path to take – there are many before me. I can talk her out of her depression and we could both go away for sometime. Or, I can leave things be and let time heal her wounds. Then again, I can always tell her to look for another guy – someone really worthy of her love. Will I have the guts to tell her that, knowing that I love her myself? I don’t know...
Everytime she takes my hand and leans on my shoulder, I feel my whole world crush. How can somebody so close to you seem so far away? I cannot reach her. No matter how close we can get. I will never be able to reach her. If I were an ordinary young man, maybe things will be a little different. But, you see, I’m not. There’s nothing ordinary, or extraordinary, about me. I can feel. I can touch. I love the smell of her hair. But I have never seen her beautiful face – not even once. My world is in total darkness. I wake up each morning not really knowing the difference between night and day. I don’t know what the flowers I gave her this morning, look like. I don’t ask about her favorite color. Why should I, when my world is pitch black darkness? She’s the only rainbow in my life. She brightens me up. She completes my day. She makes my heart see.
So now, what? Am I to continue holding her in my arms while secretly loving her? People say I look good. Maybe she likes the way I look. Maybe she’ll wake up one day and realize that I’m special to her. More special than Wayne, more special than anybody else she has ever known. I wish Marvie would stay with me forever...so I could hold her, embrace her all my life.
They say “love is blind”. In my case, it really is. I just hope Marvie keeps her eyes (and heart) open. I’m pretty sure that one day, she’ll discover a brighter world.
Last night, I had a scary experience. It wasn't scary because I saw ghosts or anything. It was scary because I thought I was going to lose someone really special to me.
My sister-in-law and I were comfortably watching "Medium" on DVD when my cellphone rang. It was my aunt. Though I wondered why she was calling me on a Sunday evening, I didn't expect what she said next.
One of my students, someone really close to me; someone I call my "anak" (daughter), was in trouble and tried to take her own life. My aunt and I rushed to her house so we could talk to her.
When we got there, we heaved a sigh of relief when we saw that she was all right. She said she tried to overdose herself but when we called a doctor-friend, we were told that what she took had no dangerous effects on her and on her health. We were relieved. She smiled.
Her problem is actually very simple: she wants to change her college course and take up something that she wants, not the one that her parents want for her. This has always been her problem. All these years, she has been keeping her negative feelings inside, afraid to let her parents know...afraid to disappoint them.
This is a common problem among many of today's students. Most of them normally get into a course or a field of study that their parents chose for them. Here in the Philippines, a lot of parents encourage their children to take up nursing or a course in caregiving because they dream of someday seeing them fly off to other countries where nurses and caregivers are in demand, and the pay is high. Many of these students used to have other plans for their lives, but like the normal self-sacrificing Filipino, they would set these aside just to help realize their parents' dreams.
While being obedient to your parents is not a bad thing, you must also remember that you have a life of your own. Therefore, you are responsible for it and should be the one to decide which direction you should go. Once you get into something that you are not happy about, everything else in your life will eventually crumble. In order to be fully satisfied, complete, and happy, you have to be doing something that you truly want and love.
Last night, we made my "anak" understand this. We made her think of her future; of what her life may become if she goes on and keeps up with her charades. She's afraid to disappoint her parents; afraid to make them angry. But we pointed out that she had more to be afraid of if she goes on pretending that everything is all right.
Before we said our good nights and good byes, we made her promise that she would try her best to be brave this time, and let her parents know what she feels and what she truly wants to happen to her and her life. We know she needs to gather enough strength, enough courage...but we're confident she'll pull through. We're confident that she will be able to make her dreams come true someday soon.
I wasn't scared anymore as we went on our way home. I know she'll be all right. I have complete trust in the One above, that He will grant her the strength and wisdom to stand up for herself. I'm not scared anymore because I am confident my "anak" knows she's not alone in this world...that we will always be ready for her when she needs us. That we will always be ready to accept and support her no matter what her dreams and aspirations are.
As long as you stand up and fight for your dream; as long as you work hard for it and keep your goals in sight; every little dream of yours will someday come true. Don't let others take them away from you.
This is where I'll share my thoughts and feelings on various matters and issues. Sometimes, I might put down a poem or two, and might even get some ideas from my friends and family. But overall, this will be like a reflection of the person that I am. Hopefully, by sharing my thoughts and feelings with you, I'll be able to make a significant impact on your lives in one way or another.
My writing is basically about simple stuff; things that anybody can relate with. Most of the time, I write about beautiful feelings and people. I'm the type of person who likes to dwell on the more positive side of things rather than complain about negative matters that threaten to ruin my day.
From time-to-time, I might also put in a short story or two. Short stories are like mirrors of life; and when I write one, they're usually inspired by people I know and admire.
So if you want something that will help make you feel good the whole day, spare a few minutes reading my thoughts and stories.
The year that passed was a great one for me. A lot of wonderful unexpected things happened, especially in relation to my work. I will forever be grateful to Bro for the opportunities He opened up to me in 2009. I know that He still has a lot of wonderful plans for me this year.
My main aim for 2010 is to be healthier. In 2009, I started joining aerobics classes while working the treadmill at home. For 2010, I will go back to doing yoga and will add more cardio exercises into my workout regimen. I've also started doing a little weights.
Being healthy also means watching what you eat. And this is what I will do this year. It's going to be difficult, I know; but I managed to do it some two years ago and I know I can do it again.
Among other things, I will also read more. I read a lot in 2009, but it was nothing compared to my usual reading load. A little portion of my salary will be allotted for books.
Also, I will get back to creative writing. I used to write a lot of poetry and short stories. For 2010, my aim is to come up with a personal compilation of my creative writings. I've been wanting to do this for years and I believe that the right time has come. In relation to this, I will also work on my mom's short stories and compile them.
There are still tons that I plan to achieve this year. I don't really have to enumerate them all here. I know them by heart, and I know that for the duration of 2010, they will be a part of me.
The most important thing for me now is to cultivate a positive attitude about everything in life. If I believe that I am already where my goals are, I will achieve everything that I have set out to do.
So, for 2010, my most important objective is to be positive and believe. If I am able to constantly do this, then I have already made my year complete even when it has just started.
Again, happy new year, everyone! Start making your dreams come true now!
It's finally Christmas. To my family and friends...Merry Christmas! I hope we will all remember the real reason for all these fancy celebration: Jesus, or Bro (according to Santino). In the middle of all the gift giving, the sumptuous feasts, the fireworks, let us all remember to thank Him for allowing us to enjoy the life that we have, with all the people we love and care for.
Cagayan de Oro lost an inspiration when my uncle, Ralph Cecilio, died a few days ago. His battle with lung cancer has finally ended.
Tito Laplap, as we fondly called him, was a big man with a giant heart. He treated everyone in a special, unique way. He was also a teacher in every sense of the word - one who teaches you things beyond the four walls of a classroom. He was always ready to inspire you to learn. And this is how he became one of my inspirations back when I was still struggling to find my way as a teacher.
Nope, I was never in his classes. But he taught me a lot. He taught me the value of education. He taught me how to show my students what learning was all about. He taught me how to help my students love learning, especially when it came to all things related to Literature. He taught me that it was possible to make my students love reading and writing...and learning. All these he did without him saying a single word to me; without him teaching me what I needed to do. He only had to give me suggestions like "Let them watch this and that on channel this and that." Simple tips, but they meant a lot to me. And I learned a lot from these.
I stopped teaching in 2006. He never grew tired of it, not even when he was diagnosed with his cancer. Such courage! Such dedication! I wish I had known him much longer...I wish I had spent more time with him; more than the chit-chats we used to have every time we met each other after Sunday Mass in KetKai. But then, all that cannot be now. He has gone on to join our Master. The one who gave him his incredible gifts.
At least, I was a part of his life. At least, I was touched by his presence. Now all that I need to do is preserve every single learning that I got from him - from merely listening to him every time we talked, and from merely observing him when he was in deep conversation with someone else. I'll treasure every single one of those memories...forever. Someday, when I get the chance to go back to teaching, I know I'll be able to make use of the inspiration that he was, and still is, to me.
Now that he is gone, Cagayan de Oro has lost a shining example of an inspiration for the youth. There will not be anybody like him for years to come. He'll remain the only one.
After several months of keeping my blog "stagnant," I'm back! I won't deny it, I have the same excuse that most people have - I've been really busy. Yup, true! I've been too busy the past months that every time I open this little blog of mine, I'd end up falling asleep! Anyway, I'm determined to keep the ball rolling from now on. I so miss writing!
So, what have I been up the past months? Hmmmm...a lot, actually. But one of the most interesting things that I've been religiously doing is watching a lot (more than a lot, actually!) of t.v. shows and movies. I've become so addicted to downloading our favorite t.v. shows that watching them has become a part of my daily routine. Anyway, here are the shows that keep me on my toes every day:
1.Criminal Minds - I have always been a fan of this show. I love the characters and the way they work together. I love watching the BAU (Behavioral Analysis Unit) profile serial killers and murderers. I love analyzing the complex characters and situations. And I love Dr. Spencer Reid! The latest season has some twists, like Morgan taking over Hotch as head of the team - but things are just as great!
2.House - I'm a Dr. House fan! Always have been and always will be! I simply love this man! There's a lot of drama in the latest season, especially since House just completed rehabilitation/therapy for his addiction to his meds. The departure of Cameron and her separation from Chase has also left a lot of new doors open, like the return of 13 and Taub to the team. I still miss Kutner, though.
3.Ghost Whisperer - I love Melinda Gordon! I love the way she is able to help people - both living and dead. There's something beautiful in every story, in every character that is introduced into the show. This new season is a "testing" one for Melinda and her husband Jim, since they already have a son, Aidan, who, at a young age, is already showing signs that he can be more powerful than his mom.
4.Supernatural - The Winchester brothers just keeps them coming! This season is filled with a lot of angry foes and realizations for both Dean and Sam. They still have an angel guarding them, though (Castiel). It's always great to see the good overpower the evil in every episode. I guess that's one of the reasons why this show is on my list: the fact that the good always triumphs over the bad somehow gives me hope. Of course, I also want to know how things will eventually turn out for the brothers - one of whom is a vessel of God and his angels, while the other is the devil's vessel.
5.Glee - Oh, I am so loving Glee! It's just fun and entertaining! It never fails to brighten my day! I love the music and the songs, and the characters are just so close to home that I can't help but feel with them. The fact that the "Glee Club" is a major factor in the show is just awesome! I just can't help but recall grade school years...
6.How I Met Your Mother - One of the biggest reasons I love this show? Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris in real life). He simply knows how to deliver the funniest, most absurd lines! HIYMYM never fails to make me laugh, no matter what mood I am in. The words "awesome," "legendary," and "suit up!" have become such a part of my life that I sometimes find myself using them!
7.Leverage - This is new in my list as the series is just on its second season. I love the way ex-con men and women are able to con the cheating and lying "big fishes" - those who won't think twice about using their power to overpower the weak and poor. The characters are fascinating and their "jobs" (or missions) involve situations that really happen in real life.
8.The Mentalist - This is also new in my list - and thanks to a friend, I've never stopped watching from the day I first "laid eyes" on Patrick Jane! Jane is like the "Dr. House" of the California Bureau of Investigation and he uses the "mind" to help his team solve crimes and close cases. He "reads" people and analyzes situations; and sometimes, he uses hypnotism. In short, he uses unconventional means in solving cases - but his teams ain't complaining! For me, Patrick Jane belongs to the same boat that Dr. Gregory House rocks! They are two of my most favorite television characters, ever!
9.Dexter - Dexter is a blood spatter specialist, one of the best. He helps solve cases. What I like about Dexter's story is its twist: at night, Dexter is a serial killer! Pretty mind blowing, right? I've seen just a couple of episodes of this show, but I'm already hooked to it!
10.True Blood - Sukie Stackhouse's story is simply interesting! And I simply love vampires!
There are several other shows that I follow , but my fascination for them hasn't reached the level of my top faves yet. Of course, I still watch my other faves - CSI (all three), Numbers, Medium, and Chuck. But for now, I'm glued to those in my top 10 list.
I grew up in the 80s. The fashion, the dances, the music...and Michael Jackson.
MJ was a big part of my teenage years. I danced to his music and memorized almost every song. I tried so hard to perfect the moonwalk but only got around to memorizing the dance steps to "Beat It" and "Billie Jean". Last year, I reminisced my high school years when my office mates and I danced to the immortal MJ classic "Thriller".
Now the King of Pop is gone. No more moonwalks and creative dance moves. No more energy-packed concerts. No more Michael Jackson.
MJ's life was like a rollercoaster, so full of ups and downs. He started singing at a very young age, and although he was just a kid, he wowed a lot of people with his "majestic" singing voice. He grew up and became even better at his craft, and we grew to love him. It's true, he made quite a number of bad decisions and was pushed into the limelight for the wrong reasons several times...But the magic of his voice and his dances never stopped. In fact, they became even better.
As he went through turbulent times, his songs reflected his feelings. Songs that were full of angst, songs that begged for understanding, songs that wanted to reach out...they were all his; they were all him.
No matter what else happened to MJ in his 50 years, one thing will remain true forever: that he was the greatest entertainer we've ever had in many years. Nobody, absolutely nobody, can ever replace him, or his music, or his dances.
There is only one MJ. He captured my heart back in the 80s; he continues to do so now, even when he has gone on to another life. Goodbye, MJ. Rest well. You deserve nothing less.
One of my favorite television shows is Jennifer Love Hewitt's Ghost Whisperer. I've seen all four seasons and cannot wait for the next one. As always, I don't really care what other people say about the show; what's important for me is that I enjoy it and I get a lot of good lessons from it.
Ghost Whisperer is about a young woman named Melinda Gordon (J.Love) who has the gift of seeing the dead (spirits). However, the show is not at all what you expect of supernatural stories. It's more heartwarming than scary, actually. You see, Melinda has a huge responsibility, and that responsibility involves using her gift. She sees spirits of dead people and helps them "finish the unfinished" so they can cross over and "go into the light".
Here is an excerpt taken from CBS.com, Ghost Whisperer's home studio. "Inspired in part by the work of famed medium James Van Praagh and of Mary Ann Winkowski, a real-life communicator with earth bound spirits, GHOST WHISPERER explores the spiritual side of life and death."
Melinda is married to Jim Gordon, a paramedic who knows about her gift. Jim is very supportive of her and even accompanies her sometimes when she does her investigations. She and Jim have an unconditional love that goes beyond any boundaries. Theirs is the stuff that we all dream of having.
Melinda's mom (Anne Archer) is also gifted but is not as open with the whole idea as her daughter is. The two of them just recently "restored" their relationship.
The Ghost Whisperer is surrounded by loving friends who never fail to help her. She has Delia (her best friend who helps run her quaint antique shop), Ned (Delia's son), and her "sidekick" Eli (Jamie Kennedy), who has the unusual gift of "hearing" (but not seeing) ghosts. In the previous seasons, Melinda's "sidekick" was Jay Mohr's Professor Payne. Also, in the earlier seasons, Melinda had another best friend who was killed when a plane crashed in Grandview (their fictional town). Melinda helped her go into the light.
All these characters have their own stories to tell; and all their stories somehow connect with what Melinda does.
What's really good about this show is that it makes you feel good after watching it. No matter how many tears you shed, you will always get that wonderful, happy feeling after watching one full episode. I've cried many tears watching families saying goodbye to loved ones about to cross into the light; or couples declaring their undying love; and parents reconnecting with children who left them early in life.
A lot of changes have been happening in the show (like Melinda and Jim finally having a baby), and I'm extra excited to find out just how powerful their little one will be.
Sometimes, I envy Melinda because she helps a lot of people without really asking for anything in return. But most of the time, I get scared thinking about what I'd really do if I were in her shoes. My greatest wish, though impossible, is to meet Melinda and spend a day with her. I'm sure I'll learn a lot from her. For we all know that even those who have gone on ahead of us have tons of new knowledge to share with us.
The show also reiterates something that I learned a long time ago, back when I was yet an innocent high school senior: "even in death, love speaks".
I hope Ghost Whisperer goes on air forever. But then again, like what the show is unconsciously trying to tell us, forever is in another realm. Maybe I'll just content myself with the idea that there may really be a Melinda Gordon somewhere in the world. And that I might get to meet her someday. Maybe in this lifetime, or in the next.
No, this is not about that Eric Clapton song. But it is about something that the song talks about: DEATH.
The past months have been quite sad. Many people who have been a part of my life, in one way or another, passed away. Death is something that makes me think really hard. It is something that makes me reflect on the kind of life that I lead. And even if I know that death will bring you back to the Lord, I'm still afraid of it. Yes, I am afraid of death.
My fear is not so much because of the idea of death itself. It is more the fear of losing your connection with the world; with the people you love and who love you; with the people around you. It is the fear of leaving behind the people who matter most to you. It is also the fear of not being able to do enough to leave your legacy in this world.
I thought everything would stop when my mom died in February 2006, but it did not. I made several decisions that altered the course of my life, but that was that. Eventually, things became better and I was able to adjust. Then after a year, our family was dealt another blow. My aunt, Daddy's youngest sister, passed away in May 2007. It was difficult for us because it was unexpected. And she was so young.
Like what happened after Mommy passed away, I slowly adjusted. At the back of my mind, however, questions kept popping up. And my fears escalated. Death made me feel that way sometimes.
Last year, my cousin Francis Ortigas died of heart failure at a very young age. He wasn't even 40 yet! His demise made me realize that death is really like a thief. It can come to you at the prime of your life, or when you're just about to conquer the world.
Still, I am never ready when I hear that someone has passed away. It is never all right to hear that somebody I know, that someone who is a part of my life has moved on to another world. I will never be prepared for death. No one is and no one will ever be.
I know my journey in life is still quite long. I have yet many things to do and a lot of promises to fulfill. I have yet many people to help. But every time someone I know passes away, I cannot help but be afraid...for myself, for the departed's family, for everyone I know.
The only thing that I can do is pray. It's the best weapon against fear. And you know what? It never fails to work!
I am sad. I am sad because another one of the special people in my life has gone on to another world. After Lolo (Grandpa) Titang in 1986, it was MammaIn. Mama Chata in 2003. Then Mommy followed in 2006. Tita (Aunt) Diditte in 2007. Francis in 2008. This year, Lolo Nonon (Fr. Miguel Bernad) passed away. And now, Lola Dory Chaves. My only consolation, I guess, is that they lived a happy and fulfilled life. No, their lives were not perfect. There's no such thing as a perfect life. But they lived their mission and realized their visions in one way or another.
I am sad because they are not with me anymore. I cannot embrace or even touch them anymore. But I am always consoled every time I think about them...Because I know they're all looking down lovingly on us. Because I know that even in death, their love speaks a thousand words.
I will never be comfortable with the idea of death. But I know that I will always have prayers, and my faith in the Lord, to keep me steady and strong. I will have all our "angels" up there rooting for me.
So, I know that in a few days or months' time, all will be well with me.
(This article was actually written for Goldstar. I do not know when it came out or if it ever did. I was not able to find it in the copies I bought for the week it was supposed to. Anyway, it's one of the most heartfelt pieces I wrote so I decided to share this with you.)
Master Rapper, King of Pinoy Rap, The Man From Manila, Kiko, and FrancisM. Francis Magalona was known by many names. However, to fans and peers all over the country, he will forever be the man who changed Filipino music by integrating nationalism into a popular genre called rap.
Francis, the son of Pancho Magalona and Tita Duran, popular stars of the 1940s-50s, was only 44 years old when he succumbed to acute myelogenous leukemia last Friday, March 06. I was busy editing articles in the office when I read about it. I was shocked and surprised. I did not want to believe that it was true. The truth began to sink in after I read a full account of what happened from one of the news websites I regularly visited.
I first saw Francis in the movie Bagets. But it was when I was in college in Manila and his music ruled the airwaves that I really took notice of him. Mga Kababayan was a phenomenal hit; and so were his other earlier songs like Tayo’y Mga Pinoy, Man from Manila, Mga Praning, and Cold Summer Nights. Through the years, the Master Rapper turned in one hit after another. One of his most popular hits, Kaleidoscope World, became a favorite of many (including me). Eventually, he ventured into collaborations with groups like Parokya Ni Edgar and the Eraserheads. No matter what he did, the response was phenomenal. Perhaps it was because Francis was always full of passion when he performed. He was a true artist who cared about his craft.
Nationalism was a big issue for Francis. I admired the fact that he did not find the need to march into the streets just to express his patriotism for our country. He simply poured his all in the songs he weaved. Even his paintings and photos, his other passions, spoke of his love for his country…his love for life.
Francis’ zest for life was evident in his battle with leukemia. His was a different, more serious kind. But he never gave his illness the chance to get the better of him. Instead, he shared his battle with his fans, with the people who believed in him the most. Through his multiply site, Francis posted blogs about his treatment as regularly as he could. He posted pictures, too, that showed the same fun-loving, happy Francis. Despite his pain, he kept going. He was even scheduled to perform with the Eraserheads in their concert last March 07. Ely Buendia and his crew dedicated the entire concert to his honor and sang Superproxy (a song the Master Rapper wrote for them) and Kaleidoscope World.
It’s true. Francis’ death was surprising. Tragic even, because he was so young, so talented, and so intelligent. But maybe we can all learn a lesson or two from him. One is to always love life, no matter what it has to offer us. The other is to never give up no matter what the circumstances are.
And of course, we shall all keep listening to his songs. We shall all continue to ponder on every word, every lyric that he has left for us through his music. Somewhere in between those words is a part of Francis reminding us that life must go on, whether he makes music here with us or up there with the Greatest Musician of our lives.
So long, Francis M. You shall be missed. But your music, your legacy shall live forever.
March means a lot of things to many people. For students, March signals the beginning of the end of classes. For office workers, March means summer is almost here. For others, especially those who have gone through painful and abusive experiences, March is for women.
The story of women's month began many years ago in New York City. It was March 1911 when over 140 girls, majority of whom were Jewish and Italian immigrants, were trapped inside the factory of Triangle Shirtwaist while the building was on fire.
As a result of the tragedy, women in the early 20th century began organizing themselves and came up with various activities for women. One of the resulting activities was the observance of International Women's Day every 8th day of March in commemoration of the tragic death of the factory workers.
In the Philippines, Women's Month began when former President Corazon Aquino signed several proclamations pertaining to March as a special month for women. Proclamation No. 224 officially recognized the first week of March every year as Women's Week. March 08 became known as Women's Rights and International Peace Day. Proclamation No. 227 officially began the observance of March as Women's Role in History Month. Finally, President Aquino also signed R.A. 6949 and declared March 08 of every year as National Women's Day.
Today, various organizations around the country and the world have actively participated in annual celebrations and observances of Women's Month. Popular playwright Eve Ensler came up with her own way of highlighting the importance of women when she put together the hugely celebrated Vagina Monologues. VM is a collection of women's painful, funny, heartbreaking, and joyful experiences told in interesting anecdotes and monologues. It is one of the most well attended events during Women's Month celebrations all over the world. Celebrities, personalities, students, and many young women from different backgrounds have joined and performed the monologues for free. Every VM show is a benefit performance for various women's groups/organizations.
The Vagina Monologues is actually part of Ensler's bigger Women's Month advocacy, the V-Day Movement. V-Day is a worldwide campaign aimed at ending violence and abuse against women and girls. Various activities like concerts, mardi gras, reading tours, and interschool contests take place throughout the V-Day celebration. Here in Cagayan de Oro, V-Day has been observed for years now and many women (and men) have been continuously campaigning its advocacy through a number of activities like school campaigns, monologue readings, workshops and seminars, and essay writing contests.
The plight of abused women and girls around the world cannot be fixed with just a sweep of a magic wand. It takes years, a lot of patience, and unfailing dedication and passion. For those who refuse to give in to the pain and the hurt, March is always the best time to speak up and be heard. But if we want to truly put an end to all the terrible beatings, we have the whole year and the rest of our lives to stand up for them. In our own humble ways, we can help. When all our little efforts are put together, we can do more and help the many women and girls silently suffering.
February has come and gone, I know. But it doesn't mean I cannot talk about love anymore. Love is something that you talk about everyday, wherever you are.
Several years ago, when I was still studying in Manila, there was a radio show called "Love Notes". It was aired over DWTM and hosted by Joe D'Mango. It was so successful that it eventually created a spin-off on television. Anyways, I didn't really tune in to the radio show but was able to watch some episodes of the T.V. show. The concept was formulaic - Joe D'Mango read love notes, or stories, sent in by viewers/listeners and the story would be featured on the show. The stories were nothing extraordinary but they were able to successfully paint different pictures of love. There were times when, while watching the show, I'd remark to myself how amazing love really is for people were willing to do anything and everything just to make love work in their lives.
Last February 16, I was witness once again to another attempt at painting a perfect picture of love.
My aunt, Maribel Veloso, was invited by some Xavier University-Ateneo de Cagayan students to give a talk about the different ways of saying "I Love You". Of course, the audience was made up of college students. And they all had their own perceptions of love. It was an honest and lively discussion that opened my eyes to how today's young people look at love; how they expressed their love to others.
The first part of the talk dwelt mostly on people's different views of love. It varies a lot, you'll be surprised. For me, love is mysterious; it is something that brings out the best or the unexpected in each one of us. It makes us do things we never did before. For others, love meant greater things like companionship, compatibility, togetherness. Love meant a lot of things for different people. So it's really difficult to pinpoint a specific definition of love. There is one thing I am sure of, though...love is infinite. It never ends.
Then the discussion moved on to what one can do to keep love in full swing. What my aunt told them was really basic knowledge. So basic that we sometimes forget about them. Things like letting the person know he is special by touching or hugging. Spending quality time together, listening and communicating, and even giving space to each other when needed. I know of a couple who takes turns going on trips or vacations (within or out of the country) regularly so they can have quality time on their own. You see, like what my aunt said, I believe that being a couple does not mean losing yourself and becoming one with your partner. For your relationship and your love to keep growing, each of you has to stay in tune with your individual selves. You should not lose your self or your identity just because you are the other half of someone else.
The question and answer portion was the most interesting part of the talk. Believe me, those students can make you think! Some of the situations they were involved in were common but there were those that were really unusual. A love triangle. Unreciprocated or unrequited love. Same sex relationships. Women wanting to make the first move. It was fun listening to their stories and I marveled at how honest they were about their feelings! It led me to thinking whether I was as brave and upfront about my feelings when I was their age.
Like Joe D'Mango's "Love Notes", the talk opened my eyes to more wonderful things about love...the best realization of which is that it brings people of different backgrounds, beliefs, and preferences together. It is truly universal.
No matter how many shows like "Love Notes", or how many "love talks", I attend, I know I won't be able to truly find the perfect and complete meaning of love. All I am sure of right now is that love is a wonderful kind of "wonder"...and it is a feeling I'd like to cherish for the rest of my life.
In February last year, I was busy and happily involved in a worthy cause. Together with my former students, we joined the 2008 V-Day Campaign, an annual campaign meant to raise awareness about the plight of countless abused women and children all over the world. The campaign is the brainchild of Eve Ensler,writer of the hugely popular The Vagina Monologues. Through Ensler's staging of the monologues, the V-Day campaign was able to raise more than $50 million for numerous women's anti-violence groups. Today, the campaign is a worldwide event that gathers some of the world's most prominent personalities in various V-Day related activities.
Our main aim last year was to be able to stage The Vagina Monologues and entice as many of our friends as possible to join in the campaign by watching and supporting the show. For those of us who took an active part in the monologues, however, it was more than just an invitation; more than just a campaign.
The Vagina Monologues was an experience of awakening for myself and for all the other vagina warriors who generously shared their time and talents to the show. When we first gathered together to listen to all the pieces, we were completely moved by the stories we heard. And then we began reading the stories ourselves. We began to lend out voices to all the women whose stories have remained voiceless for years. We began to become the women in the stories we read. In the process, we got to know ourselves better. We realized how lucky we were to be where we were, to be who we were.
Our biggest realization, however, was finding out our worth as women. Because of the monologues; because of the brave women who shared their stories with the world, we realized how special we were. We realized how unique we were - no matter who we were and no matter what other people say. Because of The Vagina Monologues, we were able to come to terms with our womanhood. Because of The Vagina Monologues, we can now honestly declare and say how proud we are to be women.
This year, another V-Day celebration will enfold. And The Vagina Monologues will once again be on the spotlight. Although I may not be able to join the production anymore, I know I'll find a way to somehow reach out and help. I know I'll continue to be a vagina warrior. And if I were given the chance, I'd ask all my friends, male or female, to stand up and support this worthwhile endeavor.
I believe that all women, at one point in their life, should give herself the wonderful opportunity of getting into The Vagina Monologues experience. It can make all the difference...
Angelina Jolie's performance as Christine Collins in Clint Eastwoods' "Changeling" is a clear departure from her usual glossy characters (i.e. Tomb Raider, Wanted). It is an indication that she has evolved into a deeper person, probably because of her fully developed "motherly instinct".
This period thriller tells of the heartbreaking story of a woman who lost her son. When the LAPD supposedly returns her son to her, she realizes that the boy was an impostor. An underlying story here shows the truth behind all the dirt navigating through the doors and offices of the LAPD at that time.
To prove that the son returned to her was not hers, Christine Collins did everything that a mother could. At one point, she was even sent by the police to the state's psychopathic ward after they deemed her mentally unfit.
I was quiet all throughout the movie. Inside, though, it was an altogether different story. My heart was slowly being torn to pieces with every scene; with every word that came out of Christine's mouth. No, I don't have children yet but I love them. My nephews and nieces are real treasures to me. I couldn't imagine how a person (like Capt. J.J. Jones) could be so cold-hearted and cruel. Didn't they know how a mother and her child can be emotionally connected even when they were worlds apart?
I admit that I cried while watching the movie. I believe that anybody who has a heart will also do the same.
There are no spectacular fireworks in the movie, no hysterical confrontations and the like. But it was truly, deeply heartwrenching. I don't need any critic telling me about the movie's flaws because all I can remember is the story - and the brave, dedicated mother and woman that is Christine Collins.
Whether you're a mother or not, Changeling will change the way you will look at children. Changeling will teach you what self-sacrifice and unconditional love is all about.
“Good memories are like charms, Nicky. Each is special.”
“There are words from a poem about the local fishing boats and their crews that have been carved into the bar of the Dock’s Tavern in the Vineyard. “The longed-for ships/ come empty home or founder on the deep/ and eyes first loss their tears and then their sleep.”
These are just some of my favorite lines from James Patterson's touching novel "Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas". It's a book that's entirely different from all the other Pattersons I have in my collection. And although I knew that it was a love story of sorts (a little similar to his "Sam's Letters to Jennifer"), I was completely blown away by the story...especially towards the end!
Reading this book has given me a new perspective in life; one that's inspired by the five balls which Suzanne kept repeating to Nicholas in the diary. I find the theory of the glass balls and the lone rubber ball to be truly useful...especially since I'm at an exciting point in my life (my 40th year!).
I invite you to take some time to read this beautiful story and allow it to touch your heart; your inner being. I'm sure you'll understand what I'm talking about once you start flipping the pages.
Here's an essay which I wrote way back the late 1990s...in Manila...
“If I ignore the emotional plea and respond only to the words, I will not be communicating with you, there will not be a flow of understanding between us. I will not be feeling you and so, I will be frustrated and you will be also. The heart of any conversation is the demand being made on my emotion. If I feel frustrated, that is a good sign I am avoiding the emotions you are trying to communicate – I have not paused long enough to ask, ‘What do you really want from me?’ “
- Notes to Myself: My Struggle to Become A Person by Hugh Prather
When you talk to me, what do you really want from me? When you talk to me, do you talk only because you want me to listen to what you say? Or do you want me to feel what you mean? I don’t want to just listen to what you say. Rather, I want to also feel what you feel.
When I talk to a friend (or to anybody else, for that matter), I always try to go deep inside that person. Like, I ask myself, does he really need to talk to me? Or is he just blabbering? I believe that whatever emotional phase you are in (jolly, happy, sad, mad or in-between), talking to or being with someone always helps.
Comforting is an important aspect of friendship and love. Time and again, you will find a need to sit down and talk, or just be together. Your mere presence can always help. Even silence can help. But then, emotional comfort does not only mean talking to the person. Rather, it means letting yourself go a step beyond and understanding him; accepting that he is not at his best. It means you’re going through him and letting yourself into his shoes. Most of all, I think, it means not holding him to his words. Deep emotions, according to Prather, are often expressed in irrational words. If he tells you nonsense, let him. Emotions are free. They cannot be hidden, cannot be kept and can never be stopped. They flow. They jell. Sometimes, they make turbulent changes. It is during these times when we feel emotional stress, sometimes getting mad for no reason at all.
Like you, I need this kind of comfort, too. I don’t schedule it. It comes as an unwelcome surprise more often than not. We do not really know when these moments come. But when they do come, I call on to someone and try to tell him how I feel. Even if I do not make sense at all, he almost always accepts everything I say. And it has done me good. It has helped me grow and understand myself even more.
You is that you don’t have to hide how you feel. Someone will always be willing to listen to you. He will always be with you. Just his mere presence will help comfort you. Just as you will be there for him, he will be there for you. He may be a brother, a friend, or someone you love. It doesn’t really matter. Just call on him and let him know how you feel…and ask him to try hard to understand your emotions. Ask him to listen closely to what you’re saying and to how you are feeling.
When your turn to comfort comes, just be by his side. Remember to always tell him to feel free to say anything. Even what he doesn’t mean…
That’s when the need for emotional comfort is fulfilled.
This is one of my favorite short stories. Can't remember anymore when I wrote this. I think this was for Mr. & Ms. Magazine...
“Deep down, I was glad
it was cold, for while
I was keeping you warm,
I was secretly loving you.”
-COLD by Joe Pintauro
Marvie sat beside me in the bus, and I could feel sweat breaking out through my body. I could feel her heart beating so close to mine. Gradually, my pulse quickens. I move in my seat, extremely uncomfortable. I have never been this close to anybody before – man or woman. Slowly, Marvie leaned on my shoulder. She was too close to me now that I can hear her breathing.
I met Marvie, or rather, she saw me, in one of the benches around the park near our house. I had been walking and stretching my muscles, and I was with my dog. The moment she said “hi!”, I knew that something in me was forever changed.
That first meeting at the park was followed by another...and another...and another. And soon enough, we became close friends. We went out a lot – we went to bars and concerts, and even exercised together. Slowly, I felt myself falling for her. My heart would beat fast everytime she was near me. Whenever she held my hand, I’d be lost, as if I was flying over nowhere. But this is where it all stops...
You see, when I met Marvie, she was very much in love with this guy called Wayne. They have been together for two years. I met Wayne a couple of months ago, and he seemed nice. Marvie was happy with him. You’ll know it when you hear the sound of her laughter, and the excitement in her voice everytime she talked about him. They had plans – travel plans, wedding plans.
Last night, Marvie came to me and cried a bucket of tears. We stayed in my apartment the whole night. I listened to her cry, sigh and complain. It turned out that this nice guy, Wayne, had been living in with some other girl, and it had been going on for months! It was plain and simple cheating. Marvie saw them in his apartment. They explained and announced that they were “in love”. Marvie simply walked out. No violent reactions. No radio-drama hysterics. No wailing. She let him go.
Now, I am at the crossroad. I know not which path to take – there are many before me. I can talk her out of her depression and we could both go away for sometime. Or, I can leave things be and let time heal her wounds. Then again, I can always tell her to look for another guy – someone really worthy of her love. Will I have the guts to tell her that, knowing that I love her myself? I don’t know...
Everytime she takes my hand and leans on my shoulder, I feel my whole world crush. How can somebody so close to you seem so far away? I cannot reach her. No matter how close we can get. I will never be able to reach her. If I were an ordinary young man, maybe things will be a little different. But, you see, I’m not. There’s nothing ordinary, or extraordinary, about me. I can feel. I can touch. I love the smell of her hair. But I have never seen her beautiful face – not even once. My world is in total darkness. I wake up each morning not really knowing the difference between night and day. I don’t know what the flowers I gave her this morning, look like. I don’t ask about her favorite color. Why should I, when my world is pitch black darkness? She’s the only rainbow in my life. She brightens me up. She completes my day. She makes my heart see.
So now, what? Am I to continue holding her in my arms while secretly loving her? People say I look good. Maybe she likes the way I look. Maybe she’ll wake up one day and realize that I’m special to her. More special than Wayne, more special than anybody else she has ever known. I wish Marvie would stay with me forever...so I could hold her, embrace her all my life.
They say “love is blind”. In my case, it really is. I just hope Marvie keeps her eyes (and heart) open. I’m pretty sure that one day, she’ll discover a brighter world.
Last night, I had a scary experience. It wasn't scary because I saw ghosts or anything. It was scary because I thought I was going to lose someone really special to me.
My sister-in-law and I were comfortably watching "Medium" on DVD when my cellphone rang. It was my aunt. Though I wondered why she was calling me on a Sunday evening, I didn't expect what she said next.
One of my students, someone really close to me; someone I call my "anak" (daughter), was in trouble and tried to take her own life. My aunt and I rushed to her house so we could talk to her.
When we got there, we heaved a sigh of relief when we saw that she was all right. She said she tried to overdose herself but when we called a doctor-friend, we were told that what she took had no dangerous effects on her and on her health. We were relieved. She smiled.
Her problem is actually very simple: she wants to change her college course and take up something that she wants, not the one that her parents want for her. This has always been her problem. All these years, she has been keeping her negative feelings inside, afraid to let her parents know...afraid to disappoint them.
This is a common problem among many of today's students. Most of them normally get into a course or a field of study that their parents chose for them. Here in the Philippines, a lot of parents encourage their children to take up nursing or a course in caregiving because they dream of someday seeing them fly off to other countries where nurses and caregivers are in demand, and the pay is high. Many of these students used to have other plans for their lives, but like the normal self-sacrificing Filipino, they would set these aside just to help realize their parents' dreams.
While being obedient to your parents is not a bad thing, you must also remember that you have a life of your own. Therefore, you are responsible for it and should be the one to decide which direction you should go. Once you get into something that you are not happy about, everything else in your life will eventually crumble. In order to be fully satisfied, complete, and happy, you have to be doing something that you truly want and love.
Last night, we made my "anak" understand this. We made her think of her future; of what her life may become if she goes on and keeps up with her charades. She's afraid to disappoint her parents; afraid to make them angry. But we pointed out that she had more to be afraid of if she goes on pretending that everything is all right.
Before we said our good nights and good byes, we made her promise that she would try her best to be brave this time, and let her parents know what she feels and what she truly wants to happen to her and her life. We know she needs to gather enough strength, enough courage...but we're confident she'll pull through. We're confident that she will be able to make her dreams come true someday soon.
I wasn't scared anymore as we went on our way home. I know she'll be all right. I have complete trust in the One above, that He will grant her the strength and wisdom to stand up for herself. I'm not scared anymore because I am confident my "anak" knows she's not alone in this world...that we will always be ready for her when she needs us. That we will always be ready to accept and support her no matter what her dreams and aspirations are.
As long as you stand up and fight for your dream; as long as you work hard for it and keep your goals in sight; every little dream of yours will someday come true. Don't let others take them away from you.
This is where I'll share my thoughts and feelings on various matters and issues. Sometimes, I might put down a poem or two, and might even get some ideas from my friends and family. But overall, this will be like a reflection of the person that I am. Hopefully, by sharing my thoughts and feelings with you, I'll be able to make a significant impact on your lives in one way or another.
My writing is basically about simple stuff; things that anybody can relate with. Most of the time, I write about beautiful feelings and people. I'm the type of person who likes to dwell on the more positive side of things rather than complain about negative matters that threaten to ruin my day.
From time-to-time, I might also put in a short story or two. Short stories are like mirrors of life; and when I write one, they're usually inspired by people I know and admire.
So if you want something that will help make you feel good the whole day, spare a few minutes reading my thoughts and stories.
